. Mardi Robyn Mardi Robyn

Thursday, November 24, 2016

Happy Thanksgiving 2016

"O, give thanks to the Lord; for He is good; for His mercy endures forever." I Chronicles 16:34

"Make a joyful noise unto the Lord all ye lands. Serve the Lord with gladness, come before His presence with singing.  Know ye that the Lord He is God: It is He that has made us, and not we ourselves, we are His people, and the sheep of His pasture.    Enter His gates with Thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise: be thankful unto Him and bless Him.  For the Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting; and His truth endures to all generations."   Psalm 100:1-5

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Tuesday, November 8, 2016

2 Chronicles 7:14

Let us remember this, today and everyday.

 "If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land."      
 II Chronicles 7:14 

A View Through My Eyes: Week 23

Good morning!  This weeks "A View Through My Eyes" picture is of these two chimpanzee's that live at the Audubon Zoo in New Orleans, Louisiana.  I took this picture on a trip that my Daddy, Mama, sister, nephew and I took to the Zoo in August of 2014.  We had a great time! I look forward to going back when the weather is cooler.

Friday, October 28, 2016

Goodbye's Are Never Easy

Saying goodbye is never easy, neither is this blog post. The picture is of my American Paint Horse Cupcake. Isn't she pretty? She was born late May 28th, 2015 to my horse Sassy ShyAnne. Her Daddy is Shiloh.  Sadly she became sick, almost overnight. I say overnight because even though the disease had probably been building up and taking it's toll on her immune system, it was not until Wednesday of this week that we noticed she was not acting herself. She wanted to lay down more than usual. She acted tired.  My Daddy noticed she was limping, but we thought maybe one of our other horses kicked her, as horses have a way of doing other horses when they do not want to be disturbed or feel jealous. 

Look at sweet baby Cupcake with her Mama hours after she was born. I remember Daddy woke me up that morning. I knew from the excitement in his voice that Sassy had her baby. I jumped out of bed, threw on some shoes and headed outside to see our lovely foal. A filly! 

Even Bama was excited about the new addition to our family. 

So precious. I enjoyed spending hours with her the day she was born, and the next day, and any other time after that, that I could get outside to play with her. 

In this picture you can tell Sassy Shy'Anne was a tired Mama.

This is one of my favorite pictures. Sassy and Goober lovingly checking on baby Cupcake. Goober was outside with Sassy when the baby was born. He seemed to share a special bond with her up until his death in October 2015, another unpleasant goodbye.

Cupcake was the first newborn foal I had ever loved on, pettied and held  in my arms. As you can see fro the picture, it was love at first sight. 

Cupcake loved laying in the hay. It just so happened that laying in the hay is where her life ended over a year after I took this picture.

This picture I took the day after Cupcake's sister was born. Same Dad, the stud in the background, but different mare, of course, considering the fillies were born two months apart. 

Cupcake was a good horse. She had her own personality with a mixture of  Shiloh's gentle nature, and Shy'Anne's sassieness.  I called her my Shiloh Look-a-Like because she looked so much like Shiloh when he was younger, and the older she got the more she looked like Shiloh. 

Wednesday night my Parents and I went to Alabama. Thursday evening we got a call from family who told us that Cupcake was on the ground. She did not look good. She would not get up. They tried to get her to stand up, she would attempt but fall back down.  I called our Veterinarian in Mississippi. 
She said from the description it sounded like Cupcake had encephalitis, which is dangerous, life threatening and contagious to other horses.  She said she would ride out and see Cupcake and see what she could do, but she prepared us for the worst,  just in case.

By the time the Vet got to our house in Mississippi, we were already on the road headed back home from Alabama, so we could be there to handle whatever we needed to handle. 

We were anxiously awaiting the call back from the Vet, but dreading it at the same time. At last my phone rang, I handed it to my Daddy, I knew I would break down in tears on the phone if I answered and I did not want to do that. 

The result, Cupcake indeed had encephalitis, a bad case that could not be controlled. My other horses had to have vaccines, Shiloh would not let the Vet give him his vaccine, so she left the shot for me to give him, which I did today, but that story is for another blog post. 

Cupcake had to be euthanized. My heart broke.  I was not there when she was put to rest, and her suffering ended, but my heart was. I cried and cried.  I am crying thinking about it now while typing this blog post.

I was not with her when she entered this world, and I was not with her when she left this world, but the time I was with her between her beginning and end was special to me.

In my eyes, you died to young Cupcake, but you will never be forgotten. I love you Cupcake, my Shiloh look-alike. 

A View Through My Eyes: Week 22

 Earlier this Summer my Parents and I were in Alabama, were staying in the camper at the time when we made trips to Alabama.  One evening I decided to go outside and make jewelry. Bindi was curious! I like the expression on her face, it is like she is asking "What is all this stuff?" 

I love her happy smiles! 

Throwback Jewelry Photo's: Post 1

Last week I came across picture of jewelry I made years ago. I thought these pictures were gone. I was happily surprised when I found them.  The bracelet above I made using mini blue and white glow in the dark pony beads.

 This bracelet I made using blue glass beads and golden yellow pony beads. The blue beads have a unique story.  One day my Mama and I went to a Pet Store in Monroeville, Alabama. I believe I was sixteen at the time.  While at the checkout at the Pet Store, we saw a container of beads sitting on the container.  The woman working there said she sold beads! I remember how excited I was to find somewhere else nearby that sold beads besides Wally World.

 For this bracelet I used a combination of plastic beads. Clear, pearl white, and red. 
 This bracelet I made or did a family member make it? I do not remember. I do remember liking how pretty it looked, even though the beads were plastic. 

This bracelet turned out colorful!  I used a variety of shapes, all plastic beads.

I enjoy looking back at jewelry I have made.  Looking at these pictures along with others I came across inspired me to start a new blog series. Throwback Jewelry Photo's. Ever so often I post a throwback jewelry photo on my Instagram (MardiRobyn), so why not start a series of blog posts?  

Check back right here, every Thursday for four or five throwback jewelry photo's.

Thursday, October 27, 2016

Weekend Fun in Alabama

Last Friday my Parents and I went to our home in Alabama to work on getting it ready to move to.  Saturday and Sunday my Uncle came down from Florida to help my Daddy finish putting up fence for our horse pasture. 

My Daddy is the man in the camouflage shirt.  I enjoy watching my Daddy and his brother together. They like to reminiscence over their childhood and young adult days.  As you can tell my boots were captured in the picture. I was sitting on top of the toolbox on my Daddy's truck.

They spent hours Saturday and Sunday working hard to get the fence finished. I am thankful for them. 

Both Saturday and Sunday were beautiful days. The sun was bright and warm.

Bama loves to go for a ride in our UTV so I told him to load up. See the smile on his face!  

 I like red dirt roads. Bama and I did not ride far from our house or gone for a long time, but the short ride was just what I needed. It made me feel better.

 Bindi was happy to see us when we arrived home. I would have taken her with us, but the older she gets the more she does not like riding in the UTV. I do not know why, because when she was smaller she road almost everytime Bama and I would go for a ride.

Sunday morning I woke up, get myself ready for the day and drove the UTV into the horse pasture where my Daddy and Uncle Buddy were busy working on the fence. I was impressed with the progress they had made in the couple of hours they had already been working on it that morning. 

 Bindi was happy to see me.  I love her smile! 
Spending most of the weekend outside was good for me. I enjoyed it. 
Daddy and Uncle Buddy had stopped to take a much needed break! 

 I love these two!

Daddy, Mama, Uncle Buddy and I decided to take a break and go into town for two reasons. We needed more curved nails to connect the wire and the metal posts, plus it was lunchtime and we were hungry.  

 Our first stop, Tractor Supply. I needed to go to the dog section to get Bama a new collar, of course I had to stop on the aisle where the halters for horses are. Look at all the pretty colors! I have not decided yet, what color I want for my horse Dixie Robyn. I am leaning towards the sky blue on the top shelf by the purple, or the light pink on the bottom shelf. 

 On our way to the checkout I saw this toy black horse with a white streak, like my horse Sunshine! My Daddy bought it for me. I am a Daddy's girl. Thank you Daddy! (I am a Mama's girl to by the way!) 

After we left Tractor Supply we went through the drive through at Whataburger. I had been craving a hamburger from their since the night before.  It was good!  We took the long way home, and ate in the truck while enjoying the scenery and a lot of talk and laughs.

 My Bama loves the outdoors.

 So does my Bindi. 

Mama and I spent most of the evening outside with my Daddy and Uncle helping them when they needed it. While we say in the UTV, I took pictures of my sweet dogs. 

Happy puppy. I know she is tall, but she is a puppy. She is only seven months old!

Sunday afternoon at 4:31p.m. the fence was complete! I know because I looked at the clock when they finished securing the fence wire to the last post.  I am thankful for my Daddy and Uncle Buddy's hard work on the fence.  It makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside knowing how much I am loved. They would not have put the fence up, if they did not love me, considering the pasture is for my horses.  I had a wonderful weekend spent with my family.  I am blessed. Thank you Jesus for your endless blessings on me and my family.

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Depression You are Defeated

My unwelcome enemy.
You are not my friend.
I hate you.

You ease your way into my day.
I wake up with your shadow looming
over me threatening to drown out the
joyous sunlight of my day.

You follow me everywhere I go.
You laugh at me.
You mock me.
You make me tired.
I feel weak from fighting.
You are a stupid feeling.
Go away.

You make me feel lonely.
Guilty without cause.

You have tried to become my norm.
But you are not my norm.
You are a worm.

A spineless coward who preys on the innocent,
the hurt, the abandoned,
the sick and the weak.

But I am not weak.
I am not abandoned.
I was sick, but I am alive.

You depression are full of lies.
You have robbed me long enough.
I am a child of God.
I matter.
I am victorious.
Your dark presence is not my fate.
I have no need to be sad.
You can't steal my joy.

You are a fraud. A thief. A terror.
My enemy. You are defeated.
You have no place in my life.
I belong to Jesus.
Greater is He that is in my than any of your foolishness.

I am tired of feeling lonely.
I have family and friends. I am not alone.

I am tired of sadness. Why should I be sad?
I am tired of feeling empty.
The Holy Spirit lives in me, I am not empty.
I am tired of feeling torn.
Through Christ I am made whole.
I am tired of feeling unworthy.
I am redeemed and worthy through my Jesus.
I am tired of feeling discouraged.
I am not friendless.
I have friends.
I am not where I want to be
But I am farther than I was.

Depression you are my enemy.
You do not control me.
You may be attacking my mind, and my body, but you are trespassing on a child of God.

From this day forward I am fighting you harder than ever before.
You depression are a loser.
I am tired of you hurting me and hurting my family and friends.

My familiar enemy.
You are not welcome here.
Go away, in Jesus name.

Thursday, October 20, 2016

A Rant When I Am Tired

*I typed this in August, but did not post it, until now.*

I am longing for adventure. My restless spirit is anxious to be set free. I am tired of being trapped in my own misery. Depression is an enemy. Panic is not my friend. Seizures are horrible. I want my life free of them.

I want to go as I please. Do as I please and not worry about the other three. I cannot drive right now because of seizures. This irritates me.  I long to go places and do things, but depression and anxiety make it hard. While I long to go, I feel numb and void. Almost lifeless. As if the thought of getting up and going anywhere is to much trouble. I do not have the energy to do so. Yet, I want to do so.

How long will this heartache hound me? How long must I fight the same never ending battle day after day night after night with no end in sight?  How long God how long? I cry, but I do not have an answer.

Stupid brain injury. I hate you! In less than two months I will be thirty. Thirty!  I have battled this nightmare since the age of twenty-five! Enough already my heart screams!

When I was twenty I had high hopes, goals and dreams for what my life would be like when I reached the age of thirty.  Married, children, further in my career. Singing on the road for God's glory. A book or two published. So many dreams!   None of them have come true. None of them are in sight.  Stupid brain injury!!

Am I throwing a pity party? Maybe. Am I fed up? Definitely.  Am I ready to fight? I have been. Constantly. Day after day, night after night since May 28th, 2012. 

*Finishing this writing, below on October 20, 2016*

The journey is hard. The journey is long, but I will keep fighting all day long. When night falls and sorrow comes darker than the night sky, I will keep fighting, I will keep moving on.  God is with me. I will not fail. I will not fall. I will not be defeated. The battle is long. The battle is hard, but with my Jesus I am making it, one day at a time.  One day I will see the end of this struggle, this heartache will be gone, until then I will keep moving on.

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13

Sunday, August 7, 2016

Foggy Morning

It is a foggy Sunday morning here in Mississippi. My first glance outside made me think this was going to be a dreary day. The longer I stood gazing outside at the foggy scene I began to see the beauty of the morning. A bird singing even though the fog is thick and the leaves on the trees are wet.

Sunlight peaked in through gray clouds. It is a beautiful sight after all.  It reminds me that even in the gloomy fog of depression there is always some little sparkle of hope if you look long enough. It is those moments that give you a little brightness, and remind you that you still have some courage left to carry on.
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