Everyone Needs A Friend

  It is easy to get caught up in our day to day lives that we neglect people.

It seems like friendships as a child were easier than friendships as an adult. Maybe because as children we did not overthink and feel like we were bothering people, we were just friendly.  

I withdrew from people for many years, mostly due to hurt, depression and the health issues I had. I didn’t want to be a burden.  In doing so I missed out on friendships from people who would never hurt me. 

I’m also kind of shy until you get to know me.  

I am learning when you think of someone call or text them, don’t leave it up to them to always contact you first.  Make time for people. We never know when someone needs a friend. I am working on this in my life. I don’t want to make anyone feel unwanted, unloved, alone, lonely, invisible or ignored. I know what it’s like to feel that way.

We hurt ourselves when we build up walls and try to convince ourselves that we don’t need anyone.  God created us to have companionship, not only with Him but each other. Everyone needs a friend. If you ever need a friend, you have one in me. 

“A man that has friends must show himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.” Proverbs 18:24

God Is Faithful To Restore

I will restore to you the years the locust have stolen. Joel 2:25

What do you do during the waiting. When the storms have passed and you are left surveying the aftermath, learning how to live after living to survive. What do you do when you trust God to restore what the locust stole, but the wait is long?

It is easy to focus on the damage.  When I was in my early twenties I had big plans for what I wanted my life to look like by the age I am now. Sometimes, I wonder how different things would be if had I listened to the Holy Spirit when He repeatedly told me “Do not get on the dirt bike.”   

It is easy to look at the destruction a storm leaves behind, but I want to encourage you to look at the positive.  I am very blessed. I died and God brought me back to life. That is an experience not everyone has. I have felt God near me on more than one lonely night when I had no one but my God and my Parents and even though they tried, they couldn’t help me like God did.   

I have been in the deepest, darkest depressions, cried out to God and seen Him lift the clouds away. At the worst of the TBI when I didn’t know my name, I knew who my Jesus was. When I thought I was losing my mind, feeling like it was one snap away from disappearing, I felt God being the glue that was holding me together.  

I experienced God being my friend when everyone else walked away, chose others over me, or didn’t keep in touch, God did. No matter how much I tried to push Him away, He stayed.  He has never left me. His word says He will never leave us. He will never forsake us. He has proven that to me time and time again. “What A Friend We Have In Jesus” is not just a song to me. He is my closest friend. 

I know what it’s like to feel death lingering near, but feeling God closer. I know how it feels to have the hot breath of fear hovering over me, panic so heavy I had to lay on the floor to breath, yet God was with me and calmed the storm when I whispered “Jesus.”  I have battled PTSD to the point I begged God to let me die.  One call…”Jesus” and His presence filled the room.

When I think of all God has done for me, how He healed me, what He has taught me, what He brought me through, the negatives of the storm seem minor. I am thankful for the journey and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

No matter what we go through in life, we have to shift our focus to God. Focus on what God has done, what He brought you through, what you survived. We all have stories unique to ourselves that no one else can duplicate. We may have similar, almost identical stories but never exactly the same. 

God is faithful to restore everything the devil stole,  in His time. Don’t give up. During the waiting, praise God, thank God, don’t rush Him. Read His Word, pray, learn, grow, work on the areas of your life that need work. God will do what He promised.

A Lesson While Taking My Dog Outside

 

I wrote this a few months ago.

I took my little dog Paddy Anne outside earlier tonight, before I could sit her on the steps so she could run into the yard she tried to squirm out of my hands. She does that often, it is as if she thinks she can reach her destination faster than I can carry her.  As she was squirming to get down I told her “Don’t jump out of my hands, I can’t protect you if you do.” Keep in mind she weighs a little over two pounds, I’m not tall, but if she jumped she would hurt herself.  As the words left my mouth it dawned on me that’s how I do God.  

To often I grow impatient with His timing, His leading, His direction and try to jump out of His hands. I try to do it my way. I try to rush Him. I act as if I know better than He does. I know He knows best, but I become frustrated because I do not always see what He is working out for my good.  I don’t always see what He is protecting me from or how His plans will unfold. I don’t always know which way He will tell me to go when He asks me to be patient and trust Him. That’s hard.  Trust is not one of my strong points. I do not trust easily. Yet, I find I am trusting God more and more. He never lets me down. He never fails me. 

There have been times in my life I have walked away from His leading, walked outside of His protection.  Before you get a religious attitude with that statement and tell me God always protects us, let me clarify, sometimes God will tell us not to do something and we do it anyway and end up getting hurt. God can protect us and He does but, He also gives us free will. Sometimes we choose opposite of what He says is safe. I will give you an example, before I wrecked a dirt bike years ago, God spoke to my spirit a week in advance that I would wreck if I didn’t pay attention. I did not listen and thought He meant I would wreck my vehicle, so I prayed and drove extra careful all week.  The day I wrecked the dirt bike God warned me several times not to get on the bike. I was stubborn. I got on the bike anyway, twice the bike would not start. I heard the Holy Spirit loudly speak to my spirit as if He was standing beside me telling me do not try again. I ignored His warnings and I wrecked.  I had free will and I chose not to listen to God when He told me not to do it.

Now, let me tell you how good my God is. I died that day. May 28, 2012,  I hit my head multiple times.  I quit breathing for several minutes, turned blue, had convulsions and was gone. I remember before I quit breathing I felt a sweet, gentle, peaceful breeze across my face.  Before my eyes closed I looked up at the trees and the sky, the wind was not blowing. It was a hot day. I felt the Holy Spirit and the peace only Jesus can give. I wasn’t afraid.  

I vividly remember how it felt when my spirit left my body and what it felt like when my spirit reentered my body and God brought me back to life.  I came back to life hollering Jesus with my hands in the air and speaking in tongues. Some people say speaking in tongues isn’t for today. You came by too late to tell me that. I experienced it. I have no doubt it was God. He brought me back to life. 

The goodness of God is amazing. Even though I ignored God’s warnings and I disobeyed His voice, He still chose to bring me back to life. My Daddy and brother-in-law tried to revive me. My Daddy is trained in CPR, he taught classes on it for many years. Nothing worked. Daddy prayed and God intervened. 

God isn’t finished with me. He proved it that day and many times since then. He could have left me with the results of that wreck. I could have had a traumatic brain injury for the rest of my life like many specialists said I would, but God had the final say. 

God sent His Son Jesus to not only pay for my sins, but He paid for my healing when He took stripes and died on a cross for me.  I cannot begin to fathom why He loves me. I cannot begin to fathom why He showed mercy on me and healed me completely, but He did and I will forever be thankful and give Him the glory, the honor and the praise.

After all I have been through, sometimes I still struggle with trusting God.  I get in a hurry. I want a detailed plan. I want Him to write me out a map and tell me where He is leading me. I want Him to tell me when He will use me again. I want Him to give me a tracking number on the man He has planned for me to marry.  I want to know where he is and when he will arrive. I want to know when I will get married and have children whether it be by birth, adoption or both. I want to know the future of my business, and what He wants me to do in this season I am walking in. I want to know right this minute. 

He asks me to be patient. To trust Him, to walk in His wisdom. His ways are not my ways. His plans are not my plans. He knows what He is doing and how He is going to do what He promised me years ago.  He asks that I trust Him. That I walk where He guides, that I stay sheltered under His wings and not try to squirm out of His embrace. I know He is faithful. He has proven His faithfulness to me time and time again. He didn’t have to, but He did and continues to everyday.

I cannot grasp the mystery of God. I cannot completely understand how marvelous He. The depths of His love for me, for you, is unfathomable. He sent His only son to die for me. If God loved me enough to do that, then I have no doubt He loves me enough to lead me and not withhold what He has planned and bring it to pass in His timing. 

I want to walk within God’s protection, and follow His direction. I cannot do this life on my own. I tried. I failed, thank God He forgives. He heals. He redeems. His love is unmeasurable. Nothing compares to the love God has for us. God is faithful.

It also amazes me that at times when I have walked away from God’s leading, He still protected me from things. 

If you are pulling away or have pulled away from God, stop.  Let Him lead you. He won’t fail you. He isn’t mad at you. He loves you.

Jesus Loves You!

 Jesus loves you. It doesn’t matter what you have done or where you have been, He still loves you. So much so that He gave His life for you. Jesus said there is no greater love than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13. Jesus did exactly that, for us. He knew our sins would be to great for us to bear, we cannot pay the price, so He did it for us. You are not to far gone.

 God loves you. He knew us before we were born. He knew the choices we would make, still He loved us enough to send His son Jesus to pay for our sins so that we may have life in Him. (John 3:16) If we confess our sins to God He is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9.

God’s Calling and Knowing Who Your Friends Are

 I wrote this on my Facebook in March.

I read a post today about God’s calling, hurt and finding out who your friends are. I can relate. 

I have been there. I have experienced abandonment, isolation and loneliness. Those wounds cut deep, especially when you are already hurting. When I was at my worst mentally, and physically due to health and life, people who I thought would never leave me…left.  People who should have understood health issues,  instead chose to leave and talk about me, or refused to stand up for me when others did. I am not bitter. It hurt, but I forgave. 

Many nights I spent crying to God, because it felt at times He left me too. He didn’t.  Most of my life I never felt like I fit in. I always felt different. I had friends but never like most people I knew. Once I reached my teens I was alone more times than I hung out with anyone.  In my early twenties I had some friends for a while, however when times got tough I learned who was really a friend and who was not.  Isn’t that always how it goes?

The journey of life takes you down different roads. Everyone gets busy. You learn who your friends aren’t but also who your friends are,  those who stay in touch even if it is months in between conversations, you know they are still your friends. Life gets busy, conversations few but they are always there. I am thankful for friends who are there.  My group is small, but I know I am loved and I love them. I am thankful for the friends I have. We may not talk everyday, sometimes weeks, and months  in between but I know they are there. 

One truth remains, God has never left me. He has never left you either.

The calling of God will oftentimes isolate you from anyone but God.  He will use the season of hurt and brokenness to show you His strength and that He is all you need. He will hold you in His arms in the middle of the night when you question “Am I normal? What is wrong with me? Why do people leave? Why am I still single and others are not?” “Why is this trial taking so long?” “What is the purpose?” “What is my worth?” “Why God?”  In His gentle ways He comforts, He loves, He wraps His love around me and always whispers peace to my soul. Have you ever been in the midst of chaos, in the midst of panic, in the midst of depression when your heart and mind is a mess, but you have peace in your soul because You know regardless of the storm God is in control.

As Kathy Crabb Hannah  wrote in her recent post I read, “The tragedy rerouted you to your destiny.”  I don’t know her but her posts often touch me to the core. (I shared the recent one that I am referencing below.)

I am still in route, but I know I am closer than before. 

God is in control.

No matter what you are going through know that God is with you. Deuteronomy 31:8 says God goes before us (He is not surprised) He will never leave you nor forsake you.   Call out to Him. He loves you. He gave His son for YOU. (John 3:16)  This walk of life is rough, but it is so much easier with God. I know I tried it without Him, it’s terrible without Him.  You have not gone so far or sinned so much that God cannot forgive you when you call on His name. He wants you. He loves you. His grace is sufficient for you.  All you have to do is talk to Him.

Whosoever calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. Romans 10:13

That if thou shalt confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus, and will believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved Romans 10:9

My Roots

 Growing up I heard people say you always go back to your hometown.  For many years I didn’t believe it.  I moved with my family to Mississippi a month and two days before my 18th birthday. I saw it as an adventure. It was bittersweet, I disliked leaving everyone I knew behind, but I was excited for the future. Somewhere along the way I made up my mind I was never moving back to Alabama, I would only go back to visit.  My plan was live in Mississippi until I graduated school and go to Nashville. 😂. Still ain’t visited Nashville, much less lived there.  

It is amazing how God changes our hearts and minds when we let Him. (Don’t get me wrong it’s still a dream to visit Nashville.) When it was time to move back to Alabama, I was ready.  It is interesting how life happens. God brought me back to Castleberry six years ago and it was here God’s healing started in my life in a way I cannot explain in this post.  

God has a way of working things out for our good and His glory.  I love living back in Alabama.

Will I ever move to another State? Only God knows that, for now I am content to live here. I am thankful God brought me back to my roots, I have always been an Alabama girl and always will be no matter where I live.

Riding the 4-Wheeler down red dirt roads this evening,  I had an overwhelming sense of gratitude. No matter where I go or what I do, I feel at home on a red dirt road, surrounded by trees, with a blue sky canopied above me.

Whatever you are facing, do not limit God. He knows best. His plans are best. His ways are greater than ours. It may not make sense. You may be mad at God. I was for a long time. He never stopped loving me.  He never stopped loving you either and He never will.

You may never go back to your hometown roots and that’s okay. Some people don’t. There are some roots I want to encourage you to go back to, that’s to God and the Bible you learned as a child. God hasn’t left you. He loves you, He cares for you. Maybe your Mama taught you about God, don’t stray from it.   Maybe you don’t have a God foundation, maybe your roots were not planted in His Word or Church.  Even if you did not have godly parents or a Church background you still have a root connection to God. He created you. He loves you. He sent His Son Jesus to die for you so you can have eternal life in Him.  Before He formed you in your mothers womb He knew you. 

I cannot imagine what my life would be like if I had stuck to my determination to never move back to my hometown.  I’m so thankful I did.  Isn’t it time you move back home to God?  God’s waiting on you.

A View Through My Eyes: Pink Rose

 

*But God, who is rich in mercy, for His great love wherewith He loved us, even when we were dead in sins, has quickened us together with Christ, (by grace you are saved; and has raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus: that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of of His grace in His kindness toward us through Christ Jesus. For by grace are you saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:  not of works, lest any man should boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God has before ordained that we should walk in them.  Ephesians 2:4-10

Live In The Present

There is so much I would like to tell that 14-16 year old girl in the pictures. As far back as I can remember I have always been a dreamer with a huge imagination. Around the age of thirteen or fourteen I spent more time living in a fantasy of what I wanted my life to be as an adult that I missed a lot of the joys of living in the present of being a teen. Around 14-15 I begin reading the ever popular Christian dating books on saying no to dating and finding the right person.  That was around the age I began reading as many of my Grandma’s Christian romance novels as I possibly could, and watching Disney channel original movies where the girl always found the guy who and I quote one of my favorites “you saw me when I was invisible.” 

My world revolved around wanting to grow up before it was time, planning how my life would be when I became an adult, looking for Mr. Right, waiting for my Prince Charming, my Knight in shinning armor to knock on my front door, walk through the doors of Church, meet online, at a concert or run into each other at the grocery store.  

As a young adult I discovered Hallmark movies that fed the romantic in me leaving an ever increasing desire to find “The One.” 

Before the age of 16 I had my life planned. Finish school, go on tour singing, be in ministry, get married, have children and homeschool them.  I am in my thirties and can say nothing turned out like I planned. God has a way of doing things in His timing. As I grew older other interests emerged but for the most part my desire to get married and be used of God has never changed.  I’m still a romantic dreaming of the day Mr. Right sweeps me off my feet, however a lot more level headed than the teenage girl who always had her head in the clouds, nose in a book, pen to paper with a song in her heart and in her ears.  

Today I still have a song in my heart or playing in my ears most of the time, I still write and occasionally my head is in the clouds but I discovered life outside of the clouds living in the moment with my feet planted on the ground is much more fulfilling than daydreaming all of the time. I missed so much as a teenager by not living in the present.

Around the age of fifteen and sixteen I became depressed and withdrew from family and friends. I spent a lot of time by myself immersed in my own little world of music, books and planning how my life would be. If I could go back in time and talk to myself at that age I would tell myself to live for today, enjoy it, look around and realize life had already begun, there are joys and adventures to be had as a teenager. Don’t get me wrong I had a lot of happy moments as a teenager, but for the most part I couldn’t wait to grow up. 

I cannot go back to those years, but I can encourage those of you who are teenagers and young adults, don’t rush it! Make plans, dream of the future, but live in the present. 

Most of all put God first, reach out to someone if you are going through a hard time, pray, read the Bible, and live.  Listen to God leading you. Do not let fear control you, learn to overcome your fears, reach for your dreams but leave plenty of room for new dreams and let God guide you. Be prepared in case His plans are not yours or His timing is not yours. He will never fail you.  

If you are older I encourage you to do the same. Don’t spend so much time living in the past that you miss the present and the future. As a teen and part of adulthood I spent to much time in the future that I missed living in the present more than I did, sometime ago I decided to live in the present. Some days I still have to fight old habits to live in the present. I don’t want to wake up at the end of my life and wish I could do it all over again because I didn’t live while I had the chance. Keep God first and live the life He gave you.

GOD LOVES YOU

 God loves you. He loves you so much He gave us His only begotten son Jesus that whosever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life. God did not send Jesus into the world to condemn the world. But that the world through Him might be saved. John 3:16-17. 

God loves you. He knew what you would do before He sent His Son to die for our sins. That is why He sent Him.  Jesus shed His blood. He was beaten. He was tortured. He suffered and died a cruel death….for you.  It doesn’t matter where you have been. It doesn’t matter what you have done. We cannot earn salvation. We do not have to clean ourselves up, we cannot. We can come to God through Jesus who made a way for us to be free from the chains of sin.  Whoever calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. Romans 10:13.

2 Corinthians 5:17 Anyone who is in Christ is a new creation. Old things have passed away and all things become new. 

All you have to do is come to Jesus just as you are. 1 John 1:9 says if we confess our sins to God He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Call on Jesus just as you are.  He loves you with a love we cannot comprehend. His mercy and His grace is unmeasurable, unfathomable, yet His love for us led Him to a cross to die on Calvary for us, sinners in need of a Savior. Forgiveness is free for all who call on Jesus.  God demonstrated His love toward us that while we were sinners, He sent Jesus to die for us. Romans 5:8. 

We are saved by grace through faith, not of ourselves. It is nothing we have done or can do to earn it. Salvation is a gift from God, it’s not of works lest anyone should boast. Ephesians 2:8-9

I wish I could convey to you how much God loves you. He wants YOU.  Don’t you think it’s time to come home to Jesus and give your life to Him?  

GOD LOVES YOU!!

Praising God While Riding My 4-Wheeler

 I drove the 4-Wheeler down the dirt road this evening. While driving I did my best to hold back tears as I praised God with excitement and an awareness of where He brought me from. There was a time I couldn’t drive a vehicle much less a 4-Wheeler due to seizures caused by a brain injury, but God brought me through it.  There was a time when I only prayed, hoped and dreamed to be on this side of the battle….healed.

I thank God He healed me! 

This time last year I was struggling to survive. Three years ago an EEG showed a spot on my brain. My former diagnosis of psychogenic non-epileptic seizures was changed to epilepsy.  It was common for my day to consist of twenty plus seizures.  Life was a constant battle. A battle to survive.  Because of seizures I fell often, in falling I hurt my back and couldn’t walk in a store without falling or being in intense pain so bad I would need to go out to the vehicle and wait. Tests showed I had degenerative disc disease, arthritis, thinning cartilage between two lumbars, inflammation and spurs. Because of this I had to use a wheelchair in stores for around a year. It worked on my pride immensely. 

I thank God I am not where I use to be. I am healed! 

God answered my prayers. In a couple weeks it will be one year since God healed me of seizures.  July will be one year since I had to use a wheelchair.  This time last year I was on all kinds of medication.  Soon it will be one year that I haven’t had to take any prescription medications. 

I know beyond a doubt God healed me. I know where He brought me from. I know where I am today. I am living what a Physiatrist, a Neurologist, among other specialists told me I would never live.  At the beginning of last year a Neurologist told me I would have Epilepsy for the rest of my life. But God!  

Some say God doesn’t heal. You came by to late to tell me He doesn’t do miracles. I am one.  I know what I went through. I know what it is like to come out of the stormiest nightmare and see the sun shine.

Whatever you are going through, whatever storm is in your life, trust God. He will never leave you, He will never forsake you.  I know this world is dark and lonely, but I also found in the darkest midnight God was with me. He is with you.  Cling to Him.  Trust Him. Call out to Him. 

Maybe you are mad at God, it does not surprise Him. He knows.  I have been mad at God. I have also experienced His love break through my anger and calm the chaos inside of me.  

Maybe you think you have run to far from God to want you. You haven’t.  God does not require you to clean yourself up before coming to Him. He wants you to come just as you are. He will clean you up.  

You do not have to walk this life without God. Walking with God does not mean you won’t have problems, it does mean that He will be with you to lead you, to guide you, to comfort you, to shine His light and help you through.

I have tried to walk without God, it’s miserable, but walking with God, that changes everything. 

For ten years I fought to survive. I fought to live. If not for God I would not be here. It would take a book and then some for you to understand what God brought me through.

Tonight I praise Him for where He brought me from. On the other side of trauma, walking in healing and grace that can only come from God. 

I don’t understand His mercy. I don’t understand His grace. I don’t understand why He loves me and saw fit to pull me out of the grave. I don’t know why He healed me. I don’t know why He cares. I do know that He is able. He is gracious. He is merciful. He is good. His ways are not my own. He is more than enough for me. He is all I need. He provides. He guides. He gives. He takes away. He is the Alpha, the Omega, the beginning and the end. His is faithful. He is love and He alone gets all my praise.