Traumatic Brain Injury: Post Seven

August 2012.

Yesterday I slept the day away. I finally fell asleep around 9am, woke up at 3pm, went back to sleep, woke up around 6:30pm to check my phone, went back to sleep and then got up around 11pm It is now 3:45am and I am awake but sleepy.

I wish I knew why my journal is falling a part. It is not old. Oh well.

The sun comes up I am wide awake and I feel so alone.  It hurts.  I am sad. I feel lost, rejected, abandoned. I also am jealous.  I hate jealousy.  It is a waste of emotion yet, I can't shake it.  I feel abandoned. I am hurt. Yet none of my friends I know in person take the time to come see me. This hurts.  I guess everyone at sometime in life feels rejected, abandoned and invisible. I wish in so many ways that I could rewind time back to May on Memorial Day. I wouldn't hop on the dirtbike. But it is August almost September and I sit here on the verge of tears because my world is different and I feel all alone.  Here comes the tears. Only they won't let me cry as much as I need. 

Someone on Facebook encouraged me. I needed the encouragement. I thank God for His blessings on me. I am alive and I have family and friends who love me and for that I am thankful, But, right now I still hurt...

Thank God for encouraging family and friends. For Praise and Worship music.

Thank God for my sister who gave me this quote,

"Stop putting your confidence in outward things. You, are a child of God and He loves you! That gives you worth and value." Joyce Meyer

Yes! Yes! Yes! I am a daughter of the King. I am blood bought and redeemed, no longer bound by sin and shame, Jesus blood it still remains. I am a daughter of the King.

My sister just put a graphic quote on Facebook for me that reads,

   "God knows who belongs in your life and who doesn't. Trust God and let go. Whoever is meant to be there, will."

End of Journal Entry.

During this time. I was in a dark depression.  Friends my age that I knew in person who lived in Mississippi close to me, that I worked with, I thought would be there for me. I thought they would come see me while I was at home recovering, I was wrong.   Through it all, God was with me, and I am thankful that He never leaves me nor forsakes me.